Chat grief sex
i watched Walkabout (film) the one with Jenny Agutter in it.i thought i'd seen it before (i think it was made in the 70s) but i obviously hadn't taken it in properly.basically i feel i'm going in for a second round iyswim.all the same feelings as the first time round - lots of confusion and loss and a deep sadness adn sorrow.actually just after he'd had the first heart attack and they'd stopped his ad's...
in the film Jenny Agutter brushes some ants off his dead body, which is a tender almost helpless gesture. i mentioned the film to someone in work today and just suddenly broke down again and could've cried forever and ever.
i look ahead and it all looks so grim, stretching away for ever.
i wish we (they) could have some sign or something. he sent a text to dd the morning he was waiting to travel. my kids have said they don't want me to cry but it's hard sometimes - the tears just plop out and it's so hard to hold them back.
You think you're getting over it and it suddenly comes up from no-where and smacks you in the face again! I think that love you once had for him keeps rearing its ugly head, and despite all the stuff you've dealt with, that love keeps coming back.
You know I seriously cannot remember loving my ex now, and for that I am pleased because it makes everything so much easier to deal with. Deb xxxxx believe me hun, i couldn't remember loving my ex either until he died! i must've done at some stage' but it was like summer and winter - you just can't imagine being out in the garden in your bikini when there's snow out there can you? it's like shadows from the past sweep over you and really get a hold.
The difference is now, nearly four years on, it's more under control and the grief hits far less frequently and isn't so all-emcompassing.