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What you have to understand is that these attacks come from a place of fear.You, me, and our relationships are all very frightening to men whose sense of confidence and power come from reinforcing patriarchy. Like everyone else, trans men come from different backgrounds, and their sexual orientations and genders might have changed at some point in their lives.They have needs sexually, romantically, and socially, which could be different from the needs of cis men you've dated.Kai Cheng Thom is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism.She is a Chinese trans woman writer, poet, and performance artist based in Montreal.Your family could make assumptions about your sexual orientation because of your partner’s gender identity.It's unfair and probably untrue, but you have to learn how to handle the intolerance.
Some people could presume you're gay, while others might think you're straight.And while this discrimination and hatred is mainly leveled toward girls like me, I know that some of it is reflected onto you as well.Another part is that trans feminists like myself believe that any discussion of transmisogyny must center around trans women ourselves.I'm using the gender identity specifically in the headline rather than the biological sex.Dating a pre-op FTM as a male isn't homosexual; it's rather self-explanatory.
You and I have only one: the “tranny-chaser” and the “she-male/chick-with-a-dick.”But real relationships – like ours – are dynamic and transforming, constantly opening up into new dimensions. How can we not be anxious and angry, when your families get uncomfortable when they find out who your partner is, when your friends snicker at us behind your back, when we have to be wary of violence when we go out at night?